Pneumatic Alarm Call


Who thinks it’s OK to use pneumatic drills in a residential street at 8am on a Saturday morning?  BT Openreach do!

That’s exactly what happened this morning and the guys from BT Openreach are passing the buck to South Lanarkshire Council because they say they wouldn’t let them undertake the job during the working week due to there being a school at the top of the road.

The construction guys had the audacity to tell me that my broadband connection would be SO much faster after the work had been done!

What’s the chance that there is double time and a day in lieu for all involved?


Don’t start making a noise until after 9am – not much to ask is it?


I don’t think we’ll get a response from BT Openreach  - this is what they say on Twitter “This is a news feed only. Sorry, we do not reply to tweets”.  Their website is designed to deter you from contacting them for anything other than technical issues so nae hope there!  South Lanarkshire Council’s Twitter account “is monitored during office hours” so they won’t give a hoot either – no surprise there at all!

Give em a slap
Light SlapMild SlapSlap them around a bitHard SlapYer Skelpt! (17 slaps, average: 4.59 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...
  • E-mail this story to a friend!
  • Facebook
  • TwitThis
  • Technorati
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • RSS
  • Digg
  • NewsVine
  • Google
  • LinkedIn


  • Well, I take my hat off to South Lanarkshire Council for addressing this issue. My tweets and their timeline acted as evidence that demonstrated when the work happened. Turns out you can’t undertake any construction work before 10 am on a Saturday morning – so a fine was issued. #skelptarse strikes again – Thank you South Lanarkshire Council:)

    • I would like to visit the garage lognue looks very laid back and comfy .Of course I would put in a good days work for you and Rye Please let me know I would love to help,labor,running errands or just whatever the day would bring .

  • Home landscaping will not just involve sticking crops into your vacant top or backyard and turning it into look “green”. When designing and landscaping your house, you need to spend some time and put in a large number of creativity to beautify your current front lawn or back garden.

  • 000 times!!!

    • I’m not sure what happened to my first cmmoent, so here’s another one.I don’t much care for really short, buzz cut hair. I don’t find it that attractive. However, I’d do Joey without even thinking about it. I still have a crush on Blossom s little brother.Metro-sexual doesn’t bother me a bit. Seeing the shape of a guy’s skull, thats just icky.

    • If the person was your frined, they would probably be happy to hear from you. It would be a pleasant surprise to reconnect.If they don’t reply, it could be the wrong email address or an email address that they no longer use.I use it every day.

  • I came to your page via Yahoo but I can’t find your Facebook page. I found a company that offers to create a custom Facebook page for free when you order one of their likes packages. I got a lot more traffic to my website once I had them set my facebook page up. You can check it out here:

    • JOIN TEAM JOEY NATION!BUFFALO WILD WINGS IN AUBURN, IN Wednesday NOV. 14th from 6-8(Come on out!) You may contact for conpous. 10% of all food purchases will be donated to help JOEY!**TEAM JOEY Christmas Extravaganza** Mark your Calendar!!Date: November 17th, 2012Time: 12:00pm 5:00pmLocation: Auburn First Christian Church,910 N. Indiana Ave. Auburn, IN (Just south of Rieke Park) SANTA will be there for a photo Opp, bring your camera, take all the pictures you need and make your Christmas Cards perfect, coloring table for kids to color pages for the Keller’s, Party lite candles, Premier Designs, a Certified Massage Therapist (for on the spot massage), home made Jams, bake sale, 31, Vault Denim, home made blankets, scarves and purses and many more things! SILENT AUCTION: Debrands chocolates gift baskets, American doll clothes, Cookie cottage gift baskets, Italian Grille gift cert, Albright’s Grocery gift Cert., movie baskets, longaberger baskets, Vera Bradley Bags and MUCH MUCH MORE! Please join us in making this a SUCCESS FOR JOEY!!!! Please share and mark your Calendar!

    • Marie Russell / This is Jim McKenna’s daughter Marie Russell just a wee note to say that dad had 4 sons and if you could corcert this I would really appreciate it. I would be very grateful if you could supply us with a copy of the recording. I have Bruce’s email so will contact him direct. I live in France and we will be listening in my mum Josie is on a flight home to Scotland. Kind Regards. Marie Russell

  • Lippincotts Nursing Drug Guide 2004 Lipram Medication

  • It’s hard to find well-informed people on this topic, however, you seem like you know what
    you’re talking about! Thanks

    Also visit my site – leaflet distribution tweed (Jonas)

    • Well done to Mount Vernon on Sunday afternoon. A great and prtety tight game saw them win 4-2. Scores were Team 1 10-7Team 2 -13-14Team 3 6-18Good luck to the Division 4 winners in the next round.

  • Hi there this is kinda of off topic but I was wondering if blogs
    use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML.
    I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding knowledge so I wanted to get advice from someone with experience.
    Any help would be enormously appreciated!

    Feel free to surf to my web-site: swimming pool builder brisbane

  • A person essentially help to make severely articles
    I might state. This is the first time I frequented your web page and thus far?
    I surprised with the research you made to create this
    actual put up extraordinary. Great activity!

  • It’s enormous that you are getting thoughts from this post as well as
    from our dialogue made at this place.

    • haha yea i know right. grenier so good cant wait to see his shit in VG2.. same with seoxtn though opens up with switch front blunt 270 out.. end its switch front blunt/board (couldnt tell)450 out.. un real.. i cant even imagine what people are gonna be doing 5years from now

  • The other day, while I was at work, my sister stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a 40 foot drop, just so she
    can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views.
    I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!

    • More posts of this quatyli. Not the usual c***, please

Leave a comment

What is Skelpt Arse?

To use a splendid bit of sadly, now seldom-used Scottish vernacular, whose 'arse' definitely needs 'skelpt'?

Who or what has been letting you down, letting our magnificent country down or who generally needs brought into line. Politicians? Overly politically-correct-mandarins? Jobsworth civil-servants? Service industry specialists who've not been servicing? You tell us!

We've got a sliding scale of 'skelpitness' from a light smack or a pure, red, stinger? You decide!

Submit yours

Latest tweets

A Creating Sparks Production

Skelpt Arse is a Dunning Design initiative