Em far too posh…

Accusation

51-year old Oscar Winner and professional posh bird Emma (Em) Thompson has revealed, (in the midsts of trying to sell a book, or a film, or something…) that she’s appalled at the ‘sloppy’ use of English. As we know, Em’s an Oxbridge Don and one of the ‘Cosy Nasty’ of that stuck-up luvvy, acting gang of conspicuously ‘clever’ people. The happy bunch of ‘Peter’s Friends’ who seem to delight in telling others ‘less fortunate’ (that’s everyone) what they really should be doing and how they should be thinking and behaving.

‘Em’ probably has a £4 million ‘country cottage’ and ‘backpacks’, ‘in the country’ a lot, to demonstrate that she’s a real person and is actually ‘dahn wiv da kids’. Because of this, she probably feels her comments are of interest to real people. So, when she remonstrated at a book signing or red carpet event (or whatevva) “there is the necessity to have two languages – one that you use with your mates and the other that you need in any official capacity”, she probably thought that this stance resonated with ‘real people’.

Emma, or Nanny McPhee, why don’t you just ‘naff orf’ as Princess Anne used to say. What the f#ck is ‘an official capacity’? How’s that going to work? Just how bogus and insincere would this make people? Apart from foppish, sing-at-the-drop-of-a-hat, John, ‘two-accents’ Barrowman, with his affected, Glaswegian/Noo Yawk two voice nonense going on, would anyone in the real world adopt this twin-tongued stance that Em’s suggesting? No!

You’re simply bonkers Em, so why not have a get-together with Stephen Fry, Tony Slattery, Hugh Laurie and whoever else is in your over-hyped, over-privileged, overly smug gang and see who’s swallowed the biggest dictionary? Oh what fun! You can laugh at your absolute command of the English language, just like the other 00000.2% of the population who enjoyed your educational leg-up. As well as Stephen Fry’s own self-loathing, perhaps he can develop a loathing of you? It won’t be too hard.

Recommendation

We’d suggest that the English language is indeed a thing of beauty BUT it’s also ever-evolving. We’d suggest ’51-year-old, Oxbridge, Oscar Winner’ is acting like one and it totally out of touch but is also about 200 years (or more) too late.

After all, 60 years ago, Posh people everywhere were horrified, when ‘R-P’ English was dropped from the BBC and oiks from the outlying and ‘Northern’ regions were allowed to read the news. Fifty years ago, their bloody monocles nearly fell into their Brown Derby soup, when Michael Caine’s estuary English poured out and he first he declared: ‘norra lotta peepul know dat’.

When Em got her big break on telly, using Glaswegian slang, in John Byrne’s ‘Tutti Frutti’, we don’t remember her moaning about just how ‘official’ a ‘capacity’ her slovenly use of English was.

Representation

Posh, privileged, English speakers, stop putting-up a King Canute-style stance on the evolving use of the English language. If any of you want to respond, I’d offer this. Who are ya? Who are ya?

Give em a slap
Light SlapMild SlapSlap them around a bitHard SlapYer Skelpt! (7 slaps, average: 4.57 out of 5)
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