SHUT UP!

Accusation

The accused are young girls and women who walk along the street screaming at the top of their voices for no reason. This crime is especially evil as it may cause a person in genuine distress to go unheard or ignored.

Car alarms and house alarms are commonly ignored because they are set off so frequently without due cause. We don’t want these needless screams to turn us into a nation where we ignore the cries for help of someone’s daughter, wife or sister who is genuinely in distress.

Everyone knows the story of the boy who cried “Wolf” too often. Unfortunately this scenario has played itself out for real when an innocent woman was murdered, despite her screams being heard, in Glasgow’s Queens Park in 2009.

Recommendation

I recommend a modification of the 3 strikes and you’re out policy. Renaming it 2 and you’re out. The first time anyone is caught in the act they will receive a suspended sentence. If they are caught again then a scolds bridle should be permanently fitted.

A scold’s bridle was a punishment device for women, also used as a ‘mild’ form of torture in the 1600′s. It was an iron muzzle or cage for the head with an iron curb-plate projecting into the mouth and pressing down on top of the tongue. The ‘curb-plate’ was frequently studded with spikes so that if the tongue remained lying calmly in place, it inflicted a minimum of pain.

Representation

No representation from the defendants was heard as they were screaming and everyone ignored them.

Give em a slap
Light SlapMild SlapSlap them around a bitHard SlapYer Skelpt! (11 slaps, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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