Com-motion in the Station


Despite it being Summer Solstice I was striding through Central Station on the rain induced, arse over tit, trip hazard of a floor, eager to get home after the dampest and most dismal of days!  I had just reached the narrow part of the station, just before you head down the escalators en route to the dingy,  lower level platforms, when an incident befitting of a skelptarse occurred!

A female was being dragged along in front of me by a chunky, low to the ground Pit Bull Terrier. In an instant the dog had arrested it’s stride and hunkered down and deposited, what can only be described as, “the skitters” all over the floor!!  The owner appeared to care not a jot, pulled on the dog’s lead and frog marched it down the stairs pronto, leaving a steaming, stinking pile of poo for all and sundry to slip and slide their way through!


Dog owners should carry pooper scooper equipment with them at all times!


There’s no excuse for such behaviour, that woman is responsible for creating a trip and health hazard of disgusting proportions whilst violating the concourse of Central Station!!  I reckon she put a lot of commuters off their dinner too!

She is wholeheartedly deserving of a SKELPTARSE, if you agree get skelping below – just do it!!!

Give em a slap
Light SlapMild SlapSlap them around a bitHard SlapYer Skelpt! (25 slaps, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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  • Dirty skank, bet there was no dancing round that one!

  • I was there too – rush hour and hoaching with folk, plus a pooper scooper would be about as much use as a feather duster on a ‘gay day parade’ – what was needed was an industrial vacuum cleaner to suck up that runny deposit!

  • Awwww…don’t want to imagine it..gone off my tea now.

  • The whole experience is indelibly printed in my mind! The woman had on fluorescent waterproof trousers and had a shiner of a black eye, she stood out like a belisha beacon – couldn’t miss her if we’d tried! Her dug was white so the polar opposite of it’s own emissions and there was nothing green about them either!!!!

  • Notwithsatnding she sounds like my kind of wumman – got to love thae dayglo breeks – there is a basic problem with that in-bred, vicious and anti-social species:

    Given half a chance they go out and get themselves a pit-bull

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What is Skelpt Arse?

To use a splendid bit of sadly, now seldom-used Scottish vernacular, whose 'arse' definitely needs 'skelpt'?

Who or what has been letting you down, letting our magnificent country down or who generally needs brought into line. Politicians? Overly politically-correct-mandarins? Jobsworth civil-servants? Service industry specialists who've not been servicing? You tell us!

We've got a sliding scale of 'skelpitness' from a light smack or a pure, red, stinger? You decide!

Submit yours

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Skelpt Arse is a Dunning Design initiative