For reasons unknown, the budgie-hood of the former Secretary of State for Scotland under John Major has been removed and rabid drivel has filled the airwaves ever since. Most of us had been thoroughly enjoying Lord Forsyth’s silence after his party’s total annihilation in Scotland, and would prefer the budgie-hood to have remained.
The latest in a series of outrageous and bizarre pronouncements from Baron Forsyth of Drumlean has been a call to end free Scottish education, something which is unlikely to woo voters and is destined to ensure his party’s continued endangerment north of the border. Forsyth and other members of the unelected House of Lords, including Labour stalwart Lord Foulkes (I will reserve his skelping for another day), have called for Holyrood’s “discriminating” system to fall into line with Westminster’s.
In England, the coalition government’s introduction of tuition fees has resulted in a 10% drop in university applications, as young people realise a £36,000 debt could take a while to shift. Mercifully, education is a devolved matter in Scotland and the “Keep Young People Stupid” campaign is unlikely to progress beyond the boundary of Lord Forsyth’s tiny mind, let alone England’s boundary with Scotland.
In short, lord-boy is an unelected motor-mouth and should pipe down.
A skelptarse followed by a swift reinstatement of the numpty’s budgie-hood.
Defence seems to rest solely upon the demise of said budgie-hood.
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What is Skelpt Arse?
To use a splendid bit of sadly, now seldom-used Scottish vernacular, whose 'arse' definitely needs 'skelpt'?
Who or what has been letting you down, letting our magnificent country down or who generally needs brought into line. Politicians? Overly politically-correct-mandarins? Jobsworth civil-servants? Service industry specialists who've not been servicing? You tell us!
We've got a sliding scale of 'skelpitness' from a light smack or a pure, red, stinger? You decide!