While Rome Burns

Illustration by Phil Burns


AnElephantCant grasp Royal Bank logic
They are giving more workers the sack
You and I are the donors
Of their gigantic bonus
Still they won’t lend us our own money back

They have 350 who earn quite good wages
Over £1 million every year
They send good jobs abroad
This logic is flawed
250 more are out on their ear

They take 785 million pounds for their bonus
While the rest of us struggle for cash
It’s what we deserve
They announce with great verve
And they just keep on building their stash

They say that they must pay out our money
Or all the good people will leave
From our point of view
That’s just what they should do
And don’t treat us as though we’re naive

The taxpayer owns 84% of this bank
But they make 250 people redundant
More folk on the dole
They keep digging the hole
Can you climb out? AnElephantCant

We suggest to all Royal Bank customers
Why not deposit your cash somewhere else
This is not a threat
Just have a nice debt
And tell Stephen Hester his business plan smells


Sack them all from the Government and the Bank.


They are too greedy and self-centred to know any better.

Give em a slap
Light SlapMild SlapSlap them around a bitHard SlapYer Skelpt! (8 slaps, average: 4.25 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...
  • E-mail this story to a friend!
  • Facebook
  • TwitThis
  • Technorati
  • Reddit
  • del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • RSS
  • Digg
  • NewsVine
  • Google
  • LinkedIn


  • I’m so sorry for mom, you and your family that you even have to go tougrhh such a difficult journey, but at the same time I’m almost envious and jealous that my dad, myself and my family didn’t get the opportunity to fight this disease together. You created a beautiful tribute for this united front against something so terrible. Good luck to your mom. May you have many, many more years to capture happier memories together on film and in your hearts.

  • That’s not just the best answer. It’s the bestest answer!

Leave a comment

What is Skelpt Arse?

To use a splendid bit of sadly, now seldom-used Scottish vernacular, whose 'arse' definitely needs 'skelpt'?

Who or what has been letting you down, letting our magnificent country down or who generally needs brought into line. Politicians? Overly politically-correct-mandarins? Jobsworth civil-servants? Service industry specialists who've not been servicing? You tell us!

We've got a sliding scale of 'skelpitness' from a light smack or a pure, red, stinger? You decide!

Submit yours

Latest tweets

A Creating Sparks Production

Skelpt Arse is a Dunning Design initiative