Pneumatic Alarm Call


Who thinks it’s OK to use pneumatic drills in a residential street at 8am on a Saturday morning?  BT Openreach do!

That’s exactly what happened this morning and the guys from BT Openreach are passing the buck to South Lanarkshire Council because they say they wouldn’t let them undertake the job during the working week due to there being a school at the top of the road.

The construction guys had the audacity to tell me that my broadband connection would be SO much faster after the work had been done!

What’s the chance that there is double time and a day in lieu for all involved?


Don’t start making a noise until after 9am – not much to ask is it?


I don’t think we’ll get a response from BT Openreach  - this is what they say on Twitter “This is a news feed only. Sorry, we do not reply to tweets”.  Their website is designed to deter you from contacting them for anything other than technical issues so nae hope there!  South Lanarkshire Council’s Twitter account “is monitored during office hours” so they won’t give a hoot either – no surprise there at all!

Give em a slap
Light SlapMild SlapSlap them around a bitHard SlapYer Skelpt! (18 slaps, average: 4.61 out of 5)
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  • Well, I take my hat off to South Lanarkshire Council for addressing this issue. My tweets and their timeline acted as evidence that demonstrated when the work happened. Turns out you can’t undertake any construction work before 10 am on a Saturday morning – so a fine was issued. #skelptarse strikes again – Thank you South Lanarkshire Council:)

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What is Skelpt Arse?

To use a splendid bit of sadly, now seldom-used Scottish vernacular, whose 'arse' definitely needs 'skelpt'?

Who or what has been letting you down, letting our magnificent country down or who generally needs brought into line. Politicians? Overly politically-correct-mandarins? Jobsworth civil-servants? Service industry specialists who've not been servicing? You tell us!

We've got a sliding scale of 'skelpitness' from a light smack or a pure, red, stinger? You decide!

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Skelpt Arse is a Dunning Design initiative